When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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