Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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