i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
