look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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