I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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