Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
