Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
