dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
