your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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