I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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