I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Its about making memories worth repressing
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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