Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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