I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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