he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
