I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
