Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
