im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
