I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
