Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
