thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
