So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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