I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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