It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize