Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
