4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
All I want is dick and wine.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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