you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize