Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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