Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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