at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
