Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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