Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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