It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
