Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
