shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
