All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
