It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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