a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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