i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
