So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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