tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
