As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I think my moral compass just broke
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
