Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
