Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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