guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
