What did we do last night that was yellow?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize