y did u give ur computer a hand job?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
