i just google imaged poop.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
