Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
