so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
