I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Sext me about skeletons
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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