Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize