I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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