I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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