We won't sleep together?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
