I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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