Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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