you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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