I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
