Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
