$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
