Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
