this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize