Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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