well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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