i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
