I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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