How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
