All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
