Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There's always time for handjobs
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Vodka?
Forever.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
